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Growth & Income

Dear Mack,

I'm so glad you were able to make it to the family dinner at Thanksgiving. I always enjoy seeing my favorite gay nephew.

Tell me if I'm off base, but I noticed you staring at my belly several times during the day. I think I recognize that look. I used to look at my uncle Jesse the same way. Now that you're in college, I think I should tell you a story about him.

When Jesse died five years ago, he left an envelope addressed to me. Inside I found stock certificates for a company I never heard of and a letter. The letter told me that the stock had been very good to him. It said I should never sell or give away more than 10% of it and I should select carefully who I give any of it to. It also said that I should use their products to make sure that the company would continue to prosper.

I wrote the company to let them know that I now owned the shares. With their welcome letter was a dividend check and sample of their product - a gooey candy of the sort my dentist tells me not to eat. I tried it and decided that it wasn't all that great, particularly since in those days I avoided most candy. Back then, I was proud of my 32 inch waist, and didn't want to see it grow. Now that I look back on it, I had a fairly big dinner that night.

I signed up for a finance course because I wanted to learn what kind of investment I had inherited. When I was able to understand the numbers, I looked over the company annual report. It was a truly unspectacular performer, with flat annual sales and no plans to expand. The one good thing going for it was extremely consistent dividends, but since the trend is toward lighter healthier foods, it appeared not to have a great future.

I wanted to sell the stock, but Jesse's letter kept me from doing it. I re-read his letter many times, trying to understand why he left me this particular stock instead of a better performing item from his portfolio.

Jesse always knew what he was doing when it came to me. He was the first in the family to recognize that I was gay, and he made sure I didn't fall into the wrong crowd. And it was his big arms that comforted me when my first boyfriend dumped me. He mentored me in 'gay 101' and I owe at least part of my wit to him.

He was always a large man, but after he retired he got fat, really fat. Every time he came to a family dinner he had a few extra pounds; Aunt Martha used to comment about it to the whole family behind his back. She called him "a lazy pig", like she has room to talk. He weighed more than double what I did back then. I know this because one time we were out driving he went to a truck stop and weighed the car, first by itself, then with me in it, then with him in it. We determined that I was 179 pounds, and he was 385. That was ten years ago, and he got a lot bigger after that. He told me that he liked that truck stop because lots of the truckers there liked big men.

Anyway, back to my story. I followed the stock for months and it seemed to go nowhere. Worse, the dividends fell slightly with the next check. By this time I had started to understand the market, so I wanted to see if their stuff was still in the stores. I asked our local grocery store, and sure enough, they had it. I had never noticed it before, but since the clerk walked several aisles to point it out, I felt obligated to buy it. I asked if they sold much, and the clerk said "No, but it is consistent - the same people buy it all the time. Mostly big people." as he indicated a belly with his hands.

I was really ready to sell it for something with better prospects, but decided to hold on to it "one more month" to see what it would do. I put the candy in a dish by the TV. Several nights I would catch myself idly munching a few pieces as I watched the finance channel, then I'd go to the kitchen for a snack. Within a week, I was out of the candy and went to the store for more. The next dividend check I got was back to the previous level.

Over the next few months, I began to buy more and more of this stuff. In time, the company's dividend checks started to flow in larger and larger amounts. I was investing more wisely, using the dividend checks from my inheritance as seed money. And I started to grow as well - a year after I inherited the stock my bathroom scale announced that I had put on 20 lbs. The thing that surprised me was that I wasn't nearly as upset about the extra weight as I would have been several months earlier. I didn't like it but I wasn't upset about it.

In the next year, I made more investments, I consumed more of the stuff, I gained more weight. The family, especially Aunt Martha, mentioned the weight, but I was beginning to like it. I looked at it as a gift from Jesse; after all it was a result of supporting the stock he gave me. One night, I went to the truck stop on a lark and calculated my weight the way Jesse and I had done. I was shocked that I weighed 236. I was even more shocked when the driver of the truck parked next to my car asked if he could buy me a cup of coffee.

That trucker was my lover Carl, who I introduced you to last Easter. He was the first one to point out to me how you were eyeing our respective bellies. Isn't this great? I can get my arms around him, but just barely. Anyway, as we got to know each other, I found out that he has some stock in this company as well. Carl was the one that clued me in to the fact that the candy actually makes you hungry. He also taught me how much fun it is to have a big belly.

It's hard to believe that it's been just five years since Jesse died. I would never have learned how to invest in stocks if he hadn't left me those shares. And here I am five years later planning to retire early, with my big lover, from the profits. And, as you have noticed, I've gotten bigger too. As a matter of fact, I'm much happier with my body now than when I weighed half as much.

Carl and I celebrated our third anniversary last month. After our big dinner to celebrate, I took him to the truck stop where we met. We drove on the scale and calculated our weight. Do you realize that we have a combined weight over 700 pounds? Rather than being shocked, this time I was pleased, and rubbed Carl's belly. We each put a piece of candy in our mouth and exchanged them during a kiss. Then we each ordered two of the five scoop sundaes.

If you've stayed with me during this story, Mack, you know why I told it to you. Now it's your turn. Enclosed you will find 100 shares. Don't sell them. Buy the products. And after next year's Thanksgiving dinner, we'll take your new belly to the truck stop.


Your Uncle George

Source: http://web.archive.org/web/20051217153933/http://www.gainerweb.com/archives/stories/stories/growth.shtml
Category: realistic | Added by: existimator (2012-07-14) | Author: Steve Heyl
Views: 2322 | Rating: 0.0/0
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