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I woke up with a hell of a hangover. The place was littered with the trash associated with an afternoon of football on TV, and the usual things guys do when they get together to watch the NFL on a Sunday.
There were empty beer cans, pizza boxes and chip bags all over the place. I was glad at that point that my wife and I had been separated for 6 months, she would have given me lots of shit about the condition of the room. I eased my aching head off the couch and squinted at the VCR clock. It read 9:58 PM. The game had ended at about 6 and I must have passed out. Too much beer. But it was fun. The usual group was gathered. Me, my old college bud Mike and 4 or 5 others that crowd into my small den for the classic guy-thing ritual every Sunday this time of year. I moved around the room, my bare feet kicking beer cans around and crunching on uneaten chips left in the bags which littered the floor. I sure wish they would clean up afterwards I thought. I was picking up a pizza box with one slice of pepperoni left stuck to the bottom when I discovered a folded piece of paper, real official looking under it. I opened the paper and as I read it, I began to get real weak in the knees. The damn thing looked like it had been written by a lawyer.
"We the hereby undersigned agree to wager the following goods:
A Chriscraft 20' speedboat with dual inboard 100 horse engines and all associated tackle and equipment.
A Jeep Cherokee pop top with 8 cylinder engine, overdrive transmission and four wheel trans-axle drive VIN 5843884C43V3483.
In consideration of this wager the parties: Dennis Wagner and Mike Jackson agree to engage in a Weight-gaining contest to see which of the two parties can gain the most body-weight in 6 months. The period of time to be from September 18 1994 to March 18, 1994. At the end of that time, the party weighing the most will collect the two wager stakes, the above mentioned equipment.
There are 4 stipulations:
Beginning weights of the two bettors:
Mike Jackson-180 bls
Dennis Wagner-182 lbs
Signed and notarized this 18th day of September in the year 1994 by John Gardner Notary Public"
And I looked down at the bottom of the page and found our two beer stained signatures.
I sat down on the sofa and held the paper shaking, my boat, my pride and joy, how could I be so stupid, so idiotic. The one thing I have in the world that means more to me than my life! And Mikes Jeep, he practically lives in that thing. How could he do this to me? Wait, I thought, John notarized it, Ill bet he talked us into this stupid contest. He was always being given shit about his weight, ex-football player gone soft, and me and Mike used to rag his ass all the time while we guzzled beer after beer and never gained so much as an ounce. I'LL BET HE DID THIS!!!
The ringing phone snapped me out of my hysteria and I groped for the hand set among the debris on the coffee table. It was John.
Listen you son of a bitch, you'll never get away with this, I'll go to a lawyer.....
Hold it big guy, I am a lawyer and it's perfectly legal, you both signed. Listen, I've been all through this already with your competitor (snicker) and he threw the same fit, but you have to calm down and face facts. You're locked into this thing and there is nothing you or Mike can do about it but just sit back and live with it for 6 months. That is if you don't want to loose your precious boat and his precious Jeep. By the way, did you check out your driveway yet?
I slammed the phone down on the latch hook and ran to the front door, and I almost threw up when I looked out to see the cement block that holds the tow ball hook of my boat, but no boat, no trailer no nothing. That FAT, ugly, Pig!!!
I was in the GAP, trying to buy some new jeans and shirts. I never had this kind of trouble before, just straight for the 34/30's and the 16 shirts, but after trying on 6 pairs of jeans I was standing in front of the 40's, holding 2 pairs of jeans with 40 waist. And even these were snug, although they did fit better if I hitched em up below my navel and let my stomach bulge out. Man, I was getting BIG! My weight had jumped from 182 to 210....28 pounds since Sept. 18, kinda funny actually! But it was really depressing.
How big would I have to get to hold o to my boat? I really didn't give a shit about Mike's Jeep, but my ROCKET?! My pride and joy?! I couldn't loose her!!! I went to the check-out and paid for the jeans and left.
It was difficult at first, I'm not a big eater and since I live alone, I figured Id go into the poor house paying for all the food Id have to consume to get fat. I was really having a hard time gaining until I met Dave. I was in the local supermarket, pushing a laden cart around rubbing my stomach occasionally telling it to GROW, when I pulled up to the ice cream freezers. I parked the cart and started walking down the isle, the cost of ice cream these days was getting ridiculous. As I walked past the fogged glass, I caught sight of myself in the window, and I noticed a small but protruding pot growing from my formerly trim waistline. I was in sweats, and a T shirt and the elastic band of the sweats had slipped down past the curve of my new belly to rest snugly below its dome. I stared at it occasionally bringing a hand up to cup its fullness. Getting there I thought.
The deep voice snapped me back to reality.
You're standing there in front of the door I need to get into.
I turned around, blushing at being caught in a daze and stared at the dude next to me. He was LARGE!
Standing about 6'2, he must have weighed 340 pounds. He obviously worked out somewhere to get a chest and arms and thighs as well developed as his but the thing that drew my gaze to was his belly.
His gut began right under his large muscular pecs and swept out in an incredible curve a good 3 feet from his torso. His sides were made of truck tire tubes of flesh that blended into this enormous balloon gut.
All of this was poured into a t shirt stretched so tight it looked threadbare. The words :BULKING UP were stretched across the wide expanse of his belly. Blonde hair and blue eyes completed this incredible sight.
Sorry, I said
He opened the door and the cold moist air rushed over us. Grabbing 4 gallons of ice cream in large frosty round containers, he held two in each large arm and swung the door shut with his torn-grubby- athletic shoe.
He turned around to leave and then he stopped. Setting the 4 containers down, he turned back around and with a shrug of his huge shoulders, he held a large, meaty paw out to me .
Sorry dude, didn't mean to act so shity, but I was in kinda a hurry and when I'm hungry, I get testy.
I took his much larger hand in mine and shook it, wincing slightly as he increased the pressure, but he could see my reaction and let up on the pressure.
Names Dave, he boomed. I'm sure the people at the produce isle across the store heard him.
Hi Dave, names Dennis.
Glad to meet ya' Dennis.
As he spoke, I noticed his eyes running up and down my body, was he checking me out?? Oh god no, not a huge dude, queer for me, I'm dead.
So I took the plunge, placing my feet on the floor ready to bolt for the other side of the store if I got him angry
What are you staring at dude?
He shook his head and smiled.
Sorry Dennis, but I'm a personal trainer and I always size up the people I look at and I was just doing it out of habit.
YOU are a personal trainer?
Yes, I am. I may look like I train with a fork and spoon, (he patted his enormous gut with his hand), but I own Daves Fitness Services, and I have a large clientele who want someone bigger than them, gives em confidence. Most of my clients are professional bodybuilders, so having someone as muscular but fatter than them makes em feel superior. I don't mind the way they look at me, as long as they pay me the bucks I want. They need me to feel good about themselves.
So tell me Dennis, the way you were looking at your reflection tells me you're not happy about the way you look, kinda letting the old stomach get the better of ya'. He reached out and gave my small pot a rabbit punch?
I took a step back.
I really don't want to go into it.
Cool dude, too shy, that's OK, well see ya'......
He turned around and grabbed the melting ice creams and headed for the checkout.
Yeah, come on dude, I'm gonna have milkshakes here if I don't get home to pop these in the fridge.
You train guys, right?
To get large? Muscular?
Here goes nothing.....How about training guys to get fat?
After what felt like an eternity, he answered.
Oh, I get it (big belly laugh), you weren't rubbing that baby gut of yours in disgust, but in admiration. I should have put it together earlier, why would you be standing in front of the ice cream windows. Man, sorry I got it wrong. What's the story?
I really don't want to air out all my dirty laundry here, can we go some place and talk?
Sure, meet me out front and we'll go to my place, it's around the corner.
We checked out and he had to wait for me to pay for the cart full of food and after I loaded it in the back of my Bronco, he pulled up in a big White Ford pickup.
I climbed into the cab of my truck and followed him a couple of blocks to his place, a small 2 bedroom home set back in some trees near the park.
2 HOURS LATER
I took the cold beer mug from Daves hand and started sipping on the cold brew.
Wow, man what a story, sounds like you got yourself into a pretty weird situation.
I had spent the last two hours pouring my heart out all over this big guy, and he could see the desperation in my eyes and hear it in my voice.
So how much have you gained? In how long?
Only 8 pounds in 10 days.
Yeah, but I'm flying blind here Dave, I don't know how big Mike is now and I cant find out until the final weigh in. He could be getting huge right now and I'm still skinny.
Take it easy pal, let me think.
He was sitting in his recliner, practically filling it to overflowing. He absent minded-ly rubbed his huge gut, patting it occasionally and I actually caught him staring down at it grinning....
OK, look, I usually handle dudes into getting real large muscle wise and I have steroid connections out the ass.....
NO WAY, I have to be tested prior to the weigh in, no steroids.
All right, all right. Anyway, even if I put you on an intensive weight program, you wouldn't be able to gain enough muscle weight naturally in time to beat him, if he's just sitting around getting fat. And there's no way to tell what he's doing so we'll have to assume he's doing just that.
So we gotta put you on a super weight gain program that's quick!
Drink up that beer. And Ill get ya' something else.
I gulped the last two swallows and he was up and out of that chair and grabbed the mug and disappeared into the kitchen where I heard him humming and grabbing stuff out of the fridge. The blender whirred to life and I could hear what sounded like gallons of stuff mixing. Finally he appeared carrying the blender jar. It was filled with what looked like chocolate shake mix and it smelled kinda vitamin like. He handed me the jar.
Drink up dude! Go ahead, chug this, it's a special recipe.
I put the glass rim up to my lips and inhaled smelling chocolate, spices, and that vitamin odor, but I closed my eyes and began to drink. The first swallow tasted funny, but sweet, then the next one was less tentative, and finally I was swallowing as fast as I could. In about 20 seconds, I downed the half gallon of creamy liquid. I burped loudly. Wiping my hand across my foam covered lips.
MMMM, that tasted great, what was it?
Oh nothing much, just a few mass building ingredients and supplements in a weight gain powder shake, about 3000 calories.
3000 calories! That's more than I used to eat all day dude!
Well Dennis, you just ate that in 30 seconds, and pretty easily. How do ya' feel?
I reached down and cupped my small gut and rubbed it.
Kinda full but nice. Also a little sleepy (big yawn). Well Dave, let me know what you can do for me, I better be getting home (yawn). Man am I tired all of a sudden.
Sure Dennis, and besides, it's already begun.
I don't remember what happened later that night.
Dave invited me over to have Thanksgiving dinner with him and two of his bodybuilder trainees. I slipped into my sweats (now XXL) and sat down heavily on the bed to tie my sneaks. That little chore was getting real difficult lately. As I sat down, I caught sight of myself in the mirror on the chest of drawers. I was getting HUGE. My weight had shot up to 250 since meeting Dave. I had gained 62 pounds since the bet began. My small pot had grown into a large gut that stretched a good 50 inches around. I had also gained thigh fat and ass fat and my chest had taken on a Pillsbury doughboy look.
I struggled to tie the laces and went downstairs to the kitchen to make a shake. I spooned 4 cups of the powder Dave made up for me into the blender, and mixed it with the half and half to make a half a gallon shake and blended it for a few seconds on high and gulped the whole thing down, feeling the mix flow into my belly, expanding it a little with each swallow. I closed the container that Dave shipped over here, a large flour bin full of the powder. I noticed that I was beginning to make a dent in the powder, but Dave said he could have another batch made in no time.
I got into the Bronco and squeezed my gut in front of the steering wheel, exhaling, it rested in the curve of the wheel. I pushed the seat back another notch. There used to be storage space behind the seat but lately that was disappearing as my stomach got larger and made steering more difficult.
I arrived at Daves place, and was greeted at the door by the big guy himself. (is he getting bigger as well?)
Hey Dennis, come on in.
Hi Dave, thanks for the invite. The holidays can be pretty rough if you're without family.
No problem, big guy! I'm your family for tonight! Looks like you're keeping up with the program guy!
He reached over and patted my big belly approvingly.
How much ya' weigh now Big D.?
250 at least
Fantastic, I knew my miracle mixture would do wonders for that stomach of yours. Ya see, its made for dudes on steroids, who work out a lot. It goes straight to muscle for them, but in your case, no roids, no workouts, its just putting on fat. And by the look of it, its all locating right there....
He placed a big paw across my gut and rubbed it. Felt kinda nice.
So Dave, who else is here?
Oh man, I should have called ya' to let ya' know, but Mitch and Brad, clients of mine, they wimped out.
So it's just us two fatboys!! (big belly laugh, another pat on my gut).
I reached over and gave his larger gut a pat. Felt kinda nice!!
Two hours later
The clank of my fork hitting my empty plate rang through the big room. The table top was covered with empty serving dishes, a turkey carcass sat in the center of the table, it's bones recalling the food fest we just finished. I sat back in the armchair and belched loudly, Dave doing the same. We sat at opposite ends of the large dining table surveying the damage. No more sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, creamed okra, stuffing, turkey, gravy, parker house rolls, cranberry salad,, just empty dishes. And full, I mean over-full bellies. Dave brought his hands up to caress his bloated stomach, now greatly increased in girth, and he belched loudly.
Man, I'm full, roll me out a here! Check it out Dennis...
He exhaled and his stomach pressed against the table pushing his chair back a good 4 inches. He eased himself out of the chair and stood up straight. He was getting bigger, his belly was huge back when I first met him, but now it looked twice as large. He walked slowly down the table to stand within arms reach of me. I placed a hand on the balloon that was his gut and pressed. FIRM, incredibly large, but firm.
Quite a gut huh?
Yeah Dave, man how much do you weigh now?
Almost 400 fuckin pounds dude!
Have you measured this fucker?
Yeah, almost 80 inches at the peak. Man I am a huge fucker, huh?
Yeah, you make my skinny 250 look like a 98 pound weakling.
250 huh? Guess again wide boy! Get up, lets go to the bathroom, I got a scale back there, we'll just see about that 250.
I got up (not easily) from the table and my bloated stomach led the way. It looked quite a bit larger than when I entered that afternoon (what was in the food?). I followed him into the bathroom and a large shipping scale dominated the corner.
I'll go first
He stepped onto the large metal pad and began slipping the weights over, and stood there grinning.
Man, what a monster, you've gained 50 pounds since September.
Your turn Dennis, step up there wide boy!
(I got this strange tingle in my crotch every time he said wide boy) He began to flip the weight over.
What does it say (my eyes were closed)?
276 Wide boy!
That was impossible I thought, how could I have gained 26 pounds in an afternoon, even considering the amount of food we ate between us, a physical impossibility.
Naw man, that scale must be broken, there's no way.
Yeah there is Wide Boy, (evil grin)
What are you grinning at Dave?
Nothing, well, I have a confession to make, I slipped some of the mixture into all the dishes we ate. Enough to cause temporary changes in your metabolism.
What do you mean?
I mean that now, your body recognizes any food you consume as storage material and converts it almost instantly to fat. See, normally this mixture works the reverse for bodybuilders, it converts all food to muscle and burns fat. But in your case, the opposite is working now, its leaving your muscles alone and storing every calorie except what you need to live. And it does it at a greatly accelerated rate. You take a bite, swallow, and it extracts the fat calories and stores them.
I don't remember the rest of the night.
I was coming down the stairs (slowly) when the doorbell rang. I got to the door and opened it to see a skinny FED EX delivery boy standing next to a hand truck. On the hand truck was a flour bin with a big red bow tied around it and a card.
Are you Dennis Wagner?
I've made a few deliveries to this address in the past (he looked familiar) but you cant be Dennis Wagner.
I am Dennis Wagner. Wanna come in?
Yeah, got a delivery for Dennis Wagner. Can I see some ID?
Come on in, Ill get my wallet.
The pencil neck brought the large heavy bin in and unloaded it next to the empty one in the kitchen..
What's in this thing? Flour or something?
No, weight gain mix.
For you, naw, man you don't mean it.
Yeah, I need this to live.
Man, from the looks of that belly, you've been doing a lot of fuckin livin!
In the kitchen, my stomach dominated the room. The delivery boy was almost touching it. and he was standing at the other side. He poked a finger into the firm globe of flesh that now dominated my body.
How much do you weigh dude?
375 pounds, I think, haven't weighed myself this morning. At least that's what I weighed when I went to bed last night.
Here, look, take this 20 and leave, I gotta eat.
Sure thing dude, happy growing, Ha, Ha. Ha!
I slammed the door behind him muttering several expletives. Opening the card, I read it:
I hadn't seen him since Thanksgiving. What a nice guy I thought, my stomach rumbling with anticipation.
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